i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize