Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
false alarm, still single
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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