dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
