Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
