is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize