just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
