so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
