Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize