well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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