i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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