I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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