we have pet lesbian snakes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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