we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize