I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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