Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
