Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
