Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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