Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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