I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
