I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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