I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize