Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
