It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
