Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
