i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
