I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
