ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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