Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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