Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
And then he peed in my hair
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