i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize