Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
