If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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