He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He better not be in your backpack
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize