dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize