One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She bit a glass in half.
My liver just had a heart attack.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
please don't ironically join a cult
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