Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is wine microwaveable?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
