what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
