Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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