Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
