"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
