I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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