there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
