Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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