yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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