can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
