Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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