I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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