I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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