Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize