dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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