Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize