Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The best revenge is premature balding
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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