Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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