Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
