I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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