I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
