The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
