Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize