Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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