So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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