I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
