I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
