My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
