You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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