In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I look better un-naked...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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