ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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