i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
