can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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