is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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