I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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