how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
