Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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