oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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