U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
