I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
